We are all confronted with thousands of choices each day.
This time of year in particular we may have numerous invitations, obligations, and outward expectations to respond to with "yes" or "no". I think many women, and mothers especially, struggle with saying "no". Especially saying "no" to people we love, especially when we want to say "no" to protect our own personal boundary. Many of us are conditioned and expected to put others' needs and wants before our own. To me, self care is putting my own needs first, some of the time. Setting and re-setting boundaries to protect my needs takes continuous work and reflection.
When the world, our families, and our outward obligations demand so much of us that we are left with no energy and time for things that are important to us, we need to start getting really comfortable with saying "no".
Saying "no" to one thing is saying "yes" to some thing else.
I want to recognize and appreciate when I am saying "yes" to something important to me that I want to prioritize, rather than dwelling on any guilt of disappointing someone else or fears of missing out on potential fun or something important at an event.
Some examples...
Saying "no" to the holiday party is saying "yes" to getting a good night sleep.
It is okay to prioritize rest and recuperation time. Luxuriate in it when my gut is telling me to opt out.
Saying "no" to volunteering at the kid's school for an upcoming event means saying "yes" to having the time to finish work before holiday travel.
Setting a boundary to work during work hours means that during the holidays I can enjoy being present and not work during family time.
Saying 'no' to buying that extra gift for my kid is saying 'yes' to spending the amount of money I planned for holiday gifts.
Honestly, mine usually only play with the one or two things they like the best. It's okay to prioritize modeling gratitude rather than quick gratification, and try to teach kids to appreciate quality over quantity.
Wishing you and your family a healthy, peaceful, and joyful Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year.
May you say "no" as much as you want, to say "yes" to what you really want. ❤
Sending love and peace,
Dr. Lizzie